Just cropdusted the office
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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