I could make wine with my vomit
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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