I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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