My hand turned me down
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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