Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
