got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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