anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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