she was so not down for the gang bang
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
