I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
