The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
