Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
