Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
