I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize