oh god the rape fog is back!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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