The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
