It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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