Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
