I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
