What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think my moral compass just broke
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
