Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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