just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
