no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
