Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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