He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize