yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
