Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
