We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
