were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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