no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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