Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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