alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize