if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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