I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
