Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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