The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
