it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
