Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
