Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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