About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
