we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
