Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Boobs are out for the taking
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
