her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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