my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
