You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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