i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
