ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
