i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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