I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
