He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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