did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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