Me too!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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