So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
