So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
