why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
