so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
