Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
