i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
