i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
