I'm going to jail i love you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
