she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
