and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
