Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize